I've just survived 97 minutes of this atrocity. I have only survived this because Divinity demands I warn the rest of humanity against this tripe. I'm sorry, I've just insulted perfectly good tripe ( Read more... )

No spoilers on this one, just a quick review:

I want the 87 minutes of my life that I wasted back. No one's fault but my own though.

And now, for something completely different....

 When Robert Zemeckis said they weren't making your boring, English class version of Beowulf; well, he wasn't screwing around. I have to admit, I thought it didn't completely suck as a rental. If I had paid full price at the theater, I might have not been nearly so amused and entertained by it.  Of course, I had just reread _Eaters Of The Dead_, so ( Read more... )

 The first mantra I had to keep in mind while watching this piece of moviemaking:

Don't be fooled by the title: a movie is not the book. They may be similar, they may have some very good imagery for certain moments, but each thing must be considered on its own. That said: I found where they ended it very interesting in comparison, and I'm very  ( Read more... )

Honestly, this will be one of the easiest reviews to write. Read the title. Follow instructions. Do not rent, watch, or otherwise let into your cerebellum.  You can spend the 78 minutes doing more productive things, like picking lint out of your belly button. Not even bad enough to be good, just plain bad ( Read more... )

This selection for me fell under the category of previews didn't do this movie right...though to be fair, I'm not sure what kind of previews would have. So at any point, if you care, a dissection of this movie follows.

( Read more... )

Well, as kelshei was out of town and I had to stay behind so I could keep earning the almighty simolean, I decided to see the above movie to see what all the fuss was about. Yeah.

( Boy meets girl. Boy REALLY wishes he didn't. )

After taking a break last night, I present to you the final review of the weekend...as after some internet time I'm going to have dinner with the parental unit. By that time, my beloved wife should have returned and life will have resumed normalcy. (At least, what I call normalcy. Your mileage may vary.)

So, the finale...

( Welcome to zombie shitkicker heaven. )

( Independent zombie thriller with cutting humor. )

Yes, it's me again...continuing the merriment. Moving on to the next feature on the dissection table:

( Vincent Price in a creepy role. What a shock. )